Unanswered
by zeetus
Summary: There are questions you don't know how to answer. A continuation of the scene at Danny's special spot in 5.06 Ho'Oma'ike.


_I started writing this as a Danny POV but somewhere in the middle I changed to Steve, sort of. The moral question is an old one, I just tried to apply it to the guys. _  
><em>All mistakes are mine. The two lines from the episode belong to the writers, as do the characters etc.<em>

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><p><strong>Unanswered<strong>

It was so peaceful. Idyllic. The light was playing on the waves and the birds were practicing their never-ending dance in the sky. There was a light breeze and as he was sitting there he could feel the warmth of the stone under his hands. There was no beach is sight. No umbrellas and surfboards on the sand. No cheerfulness and no people who didn't have any care in the world.

This was a nearly perfect place. No forced smiles. No pretending here.

And even so, everything was moving. Everything was so full of life. The waves and the birds; even the air was full of the energy that surrounded the island.

"So?"

He could feel Danny's eyes on him, looking at him and trying to read the answer from his face. Steve sighed and looked out at the waves again. He knew that Danny was waiting for an answer and that it was an answer he didn't necessarily need.

The truth is; he didn't want to answer. It's not that he didn't have an answer, but because if he answered it would become too real. The possibility that something might happen and he would have to make a decision was weighing on him heavier every day. He had too many enemies who wanted to hurt him, physically or emotionally, and thinking about a scenario like this put him into a dark mood. Even if it was a scenario he'd already had to live through almost to the end on one of his infamous classified ops.

Still he stalled because he knew that neither answer was the right one for Danny in this moment.

"I don't know. I've never had to think about it."

Danny snorted and turned back to watch the water. Steve knew that Danny didn't believe him. He wouldn't have, either.

"Of course." He could hear the sarcasm in Danny's voice. "Because you Navy guys only have to rescue unicorns and kittens on your super secret missions."

Steve winced. He knew that Danny was hurting and only wanted an answer so he could wallow in his guilt some more, because the pain was good. It showed that you were still human. And as long as it hurts, you don't have to move on and pretend that facing a new day is easy.

He noticed that his friend didn't say Army for once and this was proof for Steve that Danny was seriously contemplating the question and was waiting for a real answer.

He took a deep breath. "I don't know, Danny. It all depends on the situation." He noticed that Danny turned towards him again but Steve studiously kept his gaze on the distance. "Fortunately I've never had to make a decision like that." Only a similar one, but Danny didn't need to hear about that now.

He was so immersed in his own memories that he almost missed Danny's soft words. "I think I could do it." Steve opened his mouth to say something but then decided that a smart remark was not really needed now and waited for Danny to continue. "I mean, if the circumstances showed that there is really no other option, I think I could do it. Or at least I really want to think I'm strong enough to do it, but of course I've never been in a situation like this – and of course I don't want to be if I can avoid it – but I would like to think that I'm strong enough for it." Danny rambled and Steve decided that it was enough. He should have stopped this when Danny asked the question and shouldn't have let him go down this spiral more than necessary.

"Stop it, Danny. There is nothing good in thinking about it. You will never have to make a decision like this, so let's just forget it. "

It was Danny's turn to sigh. "It's not going away just because you don't want to answer."

Steve could feel that Danny really needed to be reassured in some way but he was desperate to change the subject. "I know. But it's a stupid question because it's never going to happen. So it doesn't matter if I could do it and it doesn't matter if you could do it, because you will never be in a position to make this decision, do you understand?"

Steve's voice had a steely edge to it but he really needed to make Danny understand that he would rather die than let his friend be in a situation like this. He would do everything to protect his friend from it.

And it seemed that it was enough for Danny because he had a small smile on his lips, one that said that _okay, I'll let you do this now and thanks for having my back_.

Steve stood up and smiled as well. "Come on, let's go."

As they were walking to the car, he really took Danny in, his hunched shoulders, the lines on his face. How the hell did they get to this point? How did this stupid question come? Oh, yeah, right, he remembered.

_"Three years ago if I hadn't let my brother get on that plane, right now he'd be in jail."_

_"What are you doing? Don't do that man. You're gonna second-guess every decision you make?" And it was alright for a few minutes; both of them watching the waves, but then Danny started talking again._

_"You know, I was thinking. If I'd shot Matty on that airstrip, I'd have spared him his fate with Reyes." Steve turned horrified eyes on Danny and opened his mouth to say something, anything, but Danny beat him to it. "But of course, I wouldn't have been able to kill my own brother. So I started thinking. If I ever get into a situation where I could kill my brother or my friend to spare them from a worse faith, could I do it? Would I be strong enough to pull the trigger on someone I know and love so that they won't get tortured or have a worse death?"_

_"Danny…"_

_"I knew it seems stupid, but I've been thinking about it for a while and I think I know the answer. But of course it could be because I'm not exactly stable now, I know. So I started thinking again: maybe I should ask someone what they would do."_

_And he turned to Steve, clearly waiting for an answer._

Steve shook himself and tried to put the last hour to the back of his mind. He was sure he'd need to analyze it later but now his friend needed the distraction. Though if he wanted to be honest, he was sure he couldn't forget Danny's question. Because he knew the strength his friend had and he knew that Danny was one of the strongest people he knew and so he was pretty sure his friend would have the strength to make a decision if it came to that. But he vowed then and there that neither of them would ever have to find the answer to that question, for he was not sure he was strong enough to answer it.

_End_


End file.
